The government has just
passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that
every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These
"affordable" boats will cost an average of $24,000-$124,000 each.
This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, insurance, fuel, docking
and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.
This law has been passed,
because until now, typically only financially responsible and working people
have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can
now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is
"entitled" to a boat.
In order to make sure
everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase
on average of 250-400% per year. This way, working taxpayers will pay more for
something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be
fair, people who can't afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined
and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on
until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.
If you already have a boat,
you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't
need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one, you
will be fined until you purchase one or face imprisonment. For those that
cannot afford one, they will get a free boat with a monthly check for all
ownership costs listed above at taxpayer expense.
Failure to use the boat will
also result in fines. People living in the desert, inner cities or areas with
no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge
nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.
A government review board
will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes
you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and
determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat.
They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must
purchase specific accessories, or a newer and more expensive boat. (Cash for
Clunkers guidelines will be used).
Government officials are
exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can
obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, special interest and
major donors are also exempt.
If the government can force
Americans to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING
else..
Yea...it's that stupid...
Northwoods Patriots - Standing up for Faith, Family, Country
I tried to comply but they told me I was too old.
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