Post-abortive Mom: Abortion will bring about a devastation you never knew could exist
LifeNews - Nancy Flanders – 8/22/2013
Marquis recalls the experience:
They don’t tell you that you have the option of anesthesia. It was extremely painful and no one prepares you for that. There was nothing kind or compassionate about it. It was an assembly line procedure. And it was extremely painful physically and in an emotional and spiritual sense. I didn’t feel like anyone cared that I had tears streaming down my face. It was in and out. And I have really come to recognize that this is big business.
The pain over her decision to have an abortion did not truly surface until she became pregnant with her next child.
“Nobody told me,” she explains, “that it might come back to you when you have the ultrasound of the children you want to have. There I was looking at this ultrasound of the baby growing inside me and [I was] screaming in my mind that that was a baby you aborted. A baby that you killed. I stuffed it down for a very long time and tried to silence that voice. Looking back on that decision it was the most selfish thing I ever did in my life because it was all about me wanting to live life on my terms.
Marquis says another thing no one ever told her was that having that abortion would make her keep her future children at arm’s length. Afraid that God would retaliate for her abortion by harming one of her other children, Marquis didn’t allow herself to engage with her children. It wasn’t until she came to grips with her abortion that she was able to become a true presence in her children’s lives and completely bond with them.
No one told Marquis at the abortion clinic about how broken she was going to be. That she would spend years and years trying to fill a void with everything from people to experiences to alcohol because there was an aching need inside of her that she just didn’t know how to fix. Marquis explains that the clinic won’t tell women any of this, quite simply because that isn’t their purpose. Their purpose is to get a woman’s money and to get her in and out.
It wasn’t until her two children were in middle and high school, that Marquis finally sought help for her post-abortive feelings of remorse and guilt. She knew that she was never going to get better until she came to terms with her decision to abort.
Through a series of events, Marquis was introduced to Surrendering the Secret, a post-abortive study and support group. Marquis was able to experience the study and began to realize that most of her adult issues came back to her abortion and to the frame of mind that many things in life are disposable. What should be sacred is not sacred, from relationships and marriage to our own children. She credits Surrendering the Secret with saving her because it completely changed the trajectory of her life.
Marquis hopes that any woman considering abortion will realize that it isn’t a problem solver, but that it’s actually going to “bring about devastation that you had no idea could exist”.
She also wants women to know the facts. According to numerous studies, abortion can cause mental health problems among women who have abortions. A 2011 study in the British Journal of Psychiatry found that women who have had abortions have a 61% increased risk of mood disorders as well as a 261% increased risk of alcohol misuse and a 313% increased risk of drug misuse. In addition, they show a 61% increased risk of social phobia, and a 59% increased risk of suicidal thoughts.